ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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