Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize