i don't like sucking hair
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Randomize