he thought i was a dude.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Randomize
