anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
