i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
