Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
