Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Randomize
