Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
