if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Randomize
