I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
There's always time for handjobs
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Randomize
