So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
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