Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
