I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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