ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
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