never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Small penises have feelings too.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I love you.
Bad choice
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
