i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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