Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
