Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Randomize
