You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
