Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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