so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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