I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Quick, to the slutcave!
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
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