just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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