need another drink. this is the easiest way
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
