do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
