I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Randomize
