I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize