Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
