I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Randomize
