Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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