I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Do vagina's smell?
where does the pee come out of this thing
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Randomize