Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
