i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
