who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
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