went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
our cab driver is having phone sex.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
