yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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