I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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