dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
