so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
