he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
