Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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