I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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