This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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