i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
She even gives head with a lisp.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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