ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize