Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
