i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Randomize
