i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
