She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
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