The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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