Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
