1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
