North Korea, Best Korea!
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
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