she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
