Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Randomize
