4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
