I'm gonna have a badass scar
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
