Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
