No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I've blown a few things in my day
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
