so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
i think i just lost a toe
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize
