There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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